Ten things I’ve learned from dressing myself

  1. Sweatpants are not cool unless you are under the age of 10 or in gym class. And even then…
  2. I used to wear clothes that were too baggy. I’ve learned something: wear clothes that fit your frame. It looks better.
  3. I wish I still had my Alf t-shirt from grade 6. It would be so hip now!
  4. I hate spending money on clothes. I hate it! But sometimes I’ll spend a bunch of money on clothes.
  5. I’m a utilitarian shopper. I go and buy “pants” “socks” “t-shirts”. I go into one store, pick up a bunch of stuff, and leave. None of the women I know shop like this.
  6. I don’t have innate style, but I know what basically works for me. It only took me 28 years to figure it out.
  7. I like watches, but can’t afford to buy the ones I like.
  8. Underwear, then socks, then t-shirt, then pants, then belt, then dress shirt/sweater, then jacket, then shoes. Hat?
  9. Some pants are too tight. Some pants are too low. Some pants are too high. Some pants are too baggy. And some pants are just right.
  10. Someday, I want to own a lime green suit. I had the opportunity once. But it slipped away.

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