Ten things I’ve learned from going to bars

  1. Don’t expect to meet the love of your life at a bar. And if you do meet the love of your life at a bar, what kind of person are you?
  2. Alcohol makes you funny, angry, sad, sleepy, or argumentative. But really, it doesn’t make you do anything; it was all there to begin with.
  3. A lot of bouncers aren’t assholes in real life. But at work, they sort of have to be.
  4. It’s just dancing.
  5. It’s a nice gesture to buy somebody a drink, but it doesn’t mean they owe you anything.
  6. There is definitely a point when you are too old to go to bars and hit on strangers. I know it when I see it; I just hope I’ll recognize it for myself before its too late…nobody wants to be that old guy in the bar.
  7. I’m sorry I bumped into you. It’s crowded. Chill out.
  8. X(many members of table)*Y(hours that group has been at bar drinking)=Z(amount of money the last two people will have to pay to cover their deadbeat friends at the end of the night).
  9. Why don’t you ever meet nice guys when you go out to bars? Because you are not a nice girl. Sorry.
  10. Bars are best when it’s you and your friends. No pretention. No need to impress. No aggression. Just “good times, good times”. That’s a thing people say, right?

1 Comment

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One response to “Ten things I’ve learned from going to bars

  1. Pingback: Top Ten Posts of 2011 | tenthingsivelearned

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