Ten things I’ve learned from my cousin Jimmy

  1. If you own a bar in Costa Rica, and that bar is staffed with young women, and those young women approach male clients who pay them for sex, then you own a brothel, which makes you a pimp.
  2. You can’t say you love America and then brag about how you live outside of the country just enough months of the year to avoid paying taxes. It’s hypocritical.
  3. One way not to greet someone you haven’t seen in several years: “wow, looks like you got fat!”
  4. If you are an abusive racist who nobody cares for, you should think about making some lifestyle changes. Yoga?
  5. Don’t hit on your cousin’s wife in front of him and both of his children and his mother (their grandmother). It may come across as untoward and creepy.
  6. Modern dentistry is really quite remarkable. If you have access to a modern dentist, it’s really worth trying out!
  7. Owning a ranch does not automatically make you a cowboy, in the same way that owning an art gallery does not automatically make you an art expert.
  8. Social decorum is highly contextual.
  9. There are people in this world who are utterly foul and unredeemable.
  10. You can’t choose your family.

1 Comment

Filed under tenthingsivelearned, Uncategorized

One response to “Ten things I’ve learned from my cousin Jimmy

  1. Ebob

    Wow, now i get the passive aggressive post! I think you should just piss in his whiskey bottles, or something.

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