Ten things I’ve learned from going to weddings

  1. From my friend Naomi: “everybody wants to talk about weddings, but nobody wants to talk about marriage.”
  2. Go to a wedding with your new girlfriend! It’s a great way to ruin the relationship!
  3. Open bar. I know it’s expensive, but man does it make the wedding more bearable for the guests.
  4. “OhmyGoddidn’tshelookbeautiful?shelookedsobeautifulandtheyareso inlove anddidyouseeherweddingdressandthatring?iwantmyweddingtobe justlikethat!!!
  5. Being a guy at a wedding is easy. Wear a suit, tie, and black shoes. Don’t wear a cowboy hat or a Hawaiian shirt. Done.
  6. I really want to understand the crying at weddings thing. Are you sad? Are you happy? Are you happy for her but sad for you? Are you sad for her and happy for you? Are you cranky? Hungry? Over-tired? I’ve ruled out allergies, because I get allergies but I don’t cry at weddings.
  7. When the pastor touches the foreheads of the bride and groom, closes his eyes, and then starts shouting that he sees them as soldiers for Jesus, wearing armour and carrying swords to fight for God’s will, you are probably at the wrong wedding.
  8. When you double-fist double-screwdrivers until you puke your guts out, and the father of the groom almost ends up in a fight with a 300 pound yobbo from small-town BC, you are probably at the right wedding.
  9. Marriage is a choice. Not the only choice.
  10. I like going to weddings for my close friends, because I like seeing my friends with big dumb smiles on their faces. Also, it reminds me of times when I’ve had a big dumb smile on my face (conversely, it also reminds me that I don’t now).


Filed under tenthingsivelearned, Uncategorized

2 responses to “Ten things I’ve learned from going to weddings

  1. Alix

    I’m glad to see our wedding made your top ten! Grant and I are still doing jesus’ good work…. Hardy har.

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