Guestpost #25: Tonia Krauser and (her dog) Oliver – Ten things I’ve learned from my 90 year-old Irish grandmother/Ten things I’ve learned from being a working dog

Tonia Krauser is my friend and colleague and I’m her ride ho (she drives me to work most mornings) and Oliver is her dog. Tonia is a marketing whiz who holds it all together at Second Harvest, and a real party animal. Oliver likes to whiz, and is also a real party animal.

Tonia’s grandmother still lives by herself in her own apartment completely independently and, is probably in better shape than she is. Oliver is a working dog. By ‘working’, he means going into the office of Second Harvest once every 2 weeks or so with his owner. I’m making an exception to my normal rule of only having ten things, because I refuse to devote an entire post to a dog.

Tonia’s List (her 90 year-old Irish grandmother):

  1. A shandy a day keeps the doctor away.
  2. You can never stuff too much Kleenex in too many places.
  3. If you are capable, it’s your duty to volunteer and help those less fortunate.
  4. Keeping up with celebrity gossip is a valid hobby.
  5. If you say ‘fackn’ it’s not really swearing.
  6. If you pretend you don’t notice it, someone will eventually pick up the aforementioned Kleenex when it falls on the floor.
  7. Potatoes contain all the vitamins you need (push any green vegetables to the side of your plate).
  8. A mother can never move past the loss of a child.
  9. Never stand in the way of a senior citizen and a slot machine. You will get hurt.
  10. Irish women rock!

Oliver’s List (being a working dog):

  1. It all starts with Starbucks.
  2. Management meetings sound more exciting than they really are.
  3. It’s easy to be popular when you let coworkers rub your belly.
  4. Monday mornings are hard.
  5. Second Harvest throws the best Halloween party I have ever been to – leftover toilet paper from the mummy-wrapping contest to roll around in, crumbs to eat off the floor and I finally got to wear that hot dog costume I’ve had sitting in the closet.
  6. It’s totally appropriate to fall asleep in a meeting (as long as you’re a dog).
  7. The drivers are the best colleagues because they smell really, really good.
  8. Business cards take forever to arrive.
  9. Much to my dismay casual Fridays doesn’t mean wearing a tie and nothing else.
  10. Wagging your tail gets you promoted.

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