Guestpost #29: Naomi Achus – Ten things I’ve learned from living alone in a 6 bedroom house

Naomi is one of my closest friends, a brilliant political genius, and somebody I have insanely hilarious conversations with. She lives in Edmonton, but she should live in Toronto with her equally incredible sister Ruth. Her and her sister are bombshells who make men fall in love with them wherever they go. I know I have personally fallen in love with both Ruth and Naomi, and have many times offered a dowry of three healthy goats to their father for their hands in marriage. So far, no dice.

  1. Living in your parents’ house without actually living with your parents can be the best of both worlds. All the bonus of saving on rent without the nagging of why you didn’t become a doctor or an engineer.
  2. Not every creak that you hear is an axe-murderer/sex offender coming to destroy you and dispose of your remains. However, respond promptly to several creaks occurring in a simultaneous pattern.
  3. That being said, my house should in fact be haunted by any account. The story of the previous owners is one involving infidelity, a missing person, a murder conviction and a subsequent suicide of the accused. None of which actually happened within the walls of the house (so I am told).
  4. My experience is that people hearing of your living situation both envy and pity you at the same time. The former due to your rent savings, the latter due to the fact that they assume that you are consumed with loneliness. I actually don`t mind living alone. I just have to constantly communicate that I will not  become a crazy cat lady if left to my own volition.
  5. There is no one to blame if the place is a mess. It’s all on you.
  6. Shovelling driveways and mowing lawns is one of the consequences of maintaining a property. A bit infuriating when you have 2 feet of snow and your neighbours with snow blowers do not offer to help. This is where a gentleman friend is of utmost importance.
  7. Dealing with contractors is one of the most trying experiences that one can deal with. Many times I have fantasized about calling Holmes on Homes and exposing their incompetence on national T.V. I mean who takes 4 months to do a roof that should take a weekend or two? View all cheap contractors with suspicion!
  8. I never had great faith in the police force. Any remaining faith was obliterated when I came home to a garage door that was open at 3 am (I do not own a car or exit through my garage). After speaking with a police dispatcher, I was told my issue was a low priority. My friend and I had to search the house before I had a rather sleepless night waiting to be attacked. That was probably the lowest moment of living alone.
  9. Living alone can also have its perks though. Walking out of the shower naked and air drying is always less risqué when one does not have roommates to worry about.
  10. Stone cold silence can give you a chance to reflect on your day. However, long extended periods of silence can be unsettling…

1 Comment

Filed under tenthingsivelearned, Uncategorized

One response to “Guestpost #29: Naomi Achus – Ten things I’ve learned from living alone in a 6 bedroom house

  1. Denyelle

    For the record, I don’t think it should, unless you’re living in a mansion, take more than 1 day to reroof a house if you have a professional.

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