Guestpost #34: sexytypewriter – Ten things I’ve learned from dating idiots

Sexy Typewriter lives in my building! She is a freelance writer and national sex columnist. Sexy Typewriter is not her real name. You can visit her blog here. Conveniently enough, the blog is also called Sexy Typewriter.

  1. Videogames do not qualify as foreplay.
  2. If I like your sibling better than I like you, this probably isn’t going to go anywhere.
  3. When I ask you to go down on me, “not tonight” is the wrong answer.
  4. If you wish to slap a lady across her bare ass during coitus, it is not unreasonable to ask permission first.
  5. I don’t care how much you love your mother; being compared to her in any capacity is kind of weird.
  6. Making out/copping a feel on the subway is not fun and spontaneous, but rather a way to keep me from finding out that you live with your parents.
  7. Aspiring actor/musician is not a for-real job.
  8. Calling me at 3:30 AM when you’re loaded is never cute.
  9. Throwing on John Mayer before we “get a little crazy” is a deal-breaker. And my body is NOT a theme park. Jackass.
  10. Your penis: not an appropriate birthday gift.

11 Comments

Filed under tenthingsivelearned, Uncategorized

11 responses to “Guestpost #34: sexytypewriter – Ten things I’ve learned from dating idiots

  1. Pingback: Ten Things I’ve Learned From Dating Idiots | Sexy Typewriter

  2. What nut job would want to give their penis away, even metaphorically?

  3. The last guy I was living with said that for my birthday, I’d get his dick in a box. I moved out less than a month later.

  4. Pingback: » Picking Up a Feminist Perspective Vox Newman

  5. Kristin

    I get it–I do–but I am actually a lady who is quite fond of video games. That said, foreplay is foreplay and I wouldn’t want to go from gaming to sex without a suitable adult-rated transition. (Which isn’t to say I won’t play Strip Mortal Kombat with you.)

    And re: the mid-sex ass tap/slap, it’s always better to ask first (for most things!). Once you know, you are basically carrying around a tool belt of knowledge which you can unleash at any sexy time. If you know what I mean.

    Finally, nothing leaves me slack and dry like John Mayer.

  6. “aspiring actor – musician is not a real job”

    OUCH!

    (circumstantial…i hope…)

  7. This was novel. I wish I could read every post, but i have to go back to work now… But I’ll return.

  8. Pingback: Top Ten Guestposts from 2011 | tenthingsivelearned

  9. Pingback: My very un-tenthings guestpost shared on a very excellent blog | tenthingsivelearned

  10. Pingback: My very un-tenthings guestpost shared on a very excellent blog — The Good Men Project

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