Ten things I’ve learned from being broken up with at the end of high school

  1. Adolescence is generally solipsistic and hyperbolic. Being broken up with, then, feels like the worst thing in the world, and everybody cares about it. It’s not, and they don’t.
  2. I know of people who dated in high school, got married, and are living happily ever after. Had I done so, I would have forfeited over a decade of relationships. Then again, maybe I wouldn’t have so much baggage either. Fuck it, who knows…
  3. Relationship red flag #1: you can’t meet her mom because you are the wrong race.
  4. Sometimes people do things that are in your best interests at the time, but those things feel terrible, and you only realize it later, after those people are long gone from your life. But thanks anyway, for the kick in the ass…..
  5. Long distance rarely works. In fact, I can’t think of many examples where it ever has. Maybe one or two. You definitely have to know that it is for a finite period of time. And you have to be in it for the long haul. And not be all that into sex.
  6. I had an awkward, mostly dateless, high school experience. At the end of high school I was asked to the formal (prom?), and had a brief but pleasant relationship. It was a nice practice round before university.
  7. Your sexual experiences, or lack thereof, during adolescence are crucial to developing how you behave in relationships later in life. My first real experiences were being rejected by girls I asked out, then asked out by a girl I didn’t really know who later dumped me.
  8. I think we blossom at different times in our lives. Some people, their best years are in high school. Maybe they are football captains, or whatever. Some people are Woody Allen…don’t really break through until middle-age. I definitely grew exponentially in university. I think I’m still figuring it out though.
  9. Relationship red flag #2: you are definitely leaving the city/province/country soon. And she is definitely staying.
  10. There are countless movies that try to glorify the high school experience, or clichés of people finally hooking up at the end of high school, and it’s the best! The football quarterback is actually a sensitive guy that loves the art nerd. The pretty popular prom queen finally realizes that she should have been with the awkward geek. But high school is just an experience that we all try to fight through while we’re growing into real people, and for most of us, university or work are where we figure out who we really are, and what we are capable of.

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