Ten things I’ve learned from wearing contact lenses

  1. Poking your eye gets less gross over time…but it’s still always a bit gross.
  2. At some point in time, there was a revolution in the contact lens solution world, and the tyranny of rubbing was overthrown. Since then, it is heresy to even think of rubbing your lenses. The king is dead, long live the king.
  3. When a contact falls out, everything has to stop, and everybody has to slowly get on their hands and knees and crawl around on the floor.
  4. Playing sports with contacts is way better than playing with glasses. But a contact lens can still get bonked out of your eye with enough force.
  5. My eyes look more blue with contact lenses.
  6. Waking up with contacts still in can double, and even triple, the amount of goo in your eyes.
  7. Contacts make you feel like a “normal person”…I’m always aware of wearing glasses. That being said, glasses can be really funky.
  8. When I wear contact lenses, I think “I could maybe get in a fight.” When I wear glasses, I think “I’d fight, but it would be really expensive to have to replace my glasses. Next time for sure!” I don’t ever get into fights.
  9. They have contacts for astigmatism, but they are way more expensive. So if you have more oval-y eyes, you may just have to deal with it.
  10. Contacts can make my eyes red or dry, make me blink a bunch, and can be a real hassle. But some days I just want to be unencumbered by a physical reminder that I have crappy vision.


Filed under tenthingsivelearned, Uncategorized

4 responses to “Ten things I’ve learned from wearing contact lenses

  1. I’ve always had 20/20 vision but when I was in my early 20’s I bought a pair of glasses with 0 magnification lenses because I had determined that people look hotter with the right frames. I don’t even remember how or where I lost them, but I miss those glasses.

  2. I just friggin’ love this blog.

    11. Getting that one darned speck of something out of your contact lens might mean taking the lens out, securing the edges of it between your thumb and index finger (N.B. grip with your fingerpads, NOT fingernails), and running a huge short spurt of cold tap water on it.

    12. Repeat after me: Contact lenses, THEN sunscreen.

    7.5 I feel like a different person with my glasses on: more introverted, awkward, shy, and un-beautiful. It has nothing to do with glasses not looking great on a person’s face (because very often, they do). It has to do with a pair of plastic shields blocking access to the windows to my soul. I feel less connected to people and people are less connected to me because there is an actual physical barrier separating the parts of our bodies that communicate the most. Weird.

    13. Laser surgery? Neverrrrrrrrrrrr! Let me shove extremely expensive oxygen-permeable plastic polymers directly against my eyeballs forever and ever and ever, Amen!

    14. My favourite thing about wearing contact lenses is getting to watch movies lying on your side on a couch and resting your cheek right up against a fat and lumpy pillow. And ya still see EVERYTHAAAANG. Subtitles? No sweat.

    • I like everything about this comment, K-Fung!! That being said…glasses can still be sweet sometimes. I like that I can just take them off and put them on a nightstand, and I like how they frame my face.

  3. GET LASER EYE SURGERY. It will change your life, as it did mine. Worth the money and it’s painless!

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