Ten things I’ve learned from meddling in other people’s relationships

  1. Don’t.
  2. Seriously…if at all possible, don’t. The problem is, the thing people most like to talk about to their friends is their relationship. So it’s tricky.
  3. Here’s a good response when asked what you think about somebody’s romantic partner: “she/he seems cool, but I don’t know her/him very well, so it’s hard to say.”
  4. Here’s a passive-aggressive way to tell somebody that you don’t like their romantic partner or think that they are ugly: “as long as you’re happy, that’s what matters, right?”
  5. If your two best friends start dating, and one starts cheating on the other one, you have a nearly impossible choice to make. If you say nothing, you are betraying the person being cheated on. If you say something, you are betraying the cheater’s confidence. Yes, the cheater is in the wrong, but they are still your friend and you should have their back…right? I believe this is called the “Snooki and J-Woww Conundrum.” Topical (sort of)!
  6. If you do set up two friends, your role in their relationship ends after the first date is set up. If they get married, and you are invited to their wedding, you are allowed to tell people that you set them up.
  7. My worst trait…well, one of my worst traits….is that I have a gossip-y nature. I wish I didn’t. Gossip is terrible, but sometimes you need to talk something out to process it.
  8. The less you have going on in your own dating life, the most likely you are to find yourself involved in other people’s lives. That’s a bad place to be. To quote Snoop Dogg (topical!): “stay to your own. Get your own. Be independent, ninja.” (note: he doesn’t really say “ninja”)
  9. Everybody has an opinion, but the only opinions that really matter are those of the two people involved in the relationship. And sometimes, love is a strange, irrational, and bewildering thing.
  10. There are occasions when meddling is appreciated: if you are genuinely consulted for your opinion, if the situation is abusive, or if there are kids involved that are being neglected. Most of the time, though, it’s a minefield.

9 Comments

Filed under tenthingsivelearned, Uncategorized

9 responses to “Ten things I’ve learned from meddling in other people’s relationships

  1. Mr. Who-ver

    My generic response to such questions, “You should leave them, you learn more about yourself when you’re by yourself. If you’re wondering at all, then it’s obviously not working.” Needless to say, I’m usually not asked for my opinion again after this.

  2. I like the passive-aggressive one.

    I’ve lost too many friends saying what I thought about their (LOUSY) choice…funny thing, though, they all ended up divorced anyway. So I may stay silent but I may also not spend a ton on your wedding gift, or skip the ceremony.

    • I totally agree.

      There is a small thrill at knowing that you are right…even at the expense of somebody else’s misery. It’s petty, I know…

  3. Liz

    I will no longer be afraid to rap at karaoke, thanks to your ingenious use of the word “ninja.”

  4. 5. There is only one option and it is simple. You tell the person that was cheated on. You can, if you feel like it, put this off for one week by approaching the cheater and letting them know they have one week to tell the other person. The longer you continue to be aware of the situation while your friend does not, the less of a friend you are.

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