Ten things I’ve learned from event planning

  1. I hate event planning.
  2. There is a special type of person who understands how to tie a bow just right, where a doily goes, and what kind of plastic snowflakes make the best table decorations. I am not that type of person.
  3. Always bring more than you need.
  4. Almost all events probably require: scissors, masking (and ideally, duct) tape, painters tape,  calculator, cash box, pens, sharpies, ribbon, balloons (often, not always), staples and stapler or staple gun, extension cords, a hand stamp, and a hole puncher. Have all those things, just in case.
  5. When you are part of an event (volunteer, staff), and don’t know what to do, and the main contact person is pulling out their hair, find little tasks. Help people move a tent. Pack things that need to be packed. Move a table! Fold some chairs. There’s always something to do.
  6. Events are like sex, if sex involved 6-9 months of foreplay before orgasm. The reward is great, but sometimes you have to wonder if it’s worth all that effort…
  7. Girls can carry things too.
  8. Events are all about the little details: a gift bags, colour coordination, free puppies. All the stuff I never think about, maybe because I am a straight man, and I am socialized to suck at this stuff? A conversation I recently had:
    ME: I’m just not great at detail-oriented work…that’s probably my biggest weakness…
    HER: All men are like that, it’s cause you have a penis.
    ME: But there are good things about men too!
    HER: I know, I already mentioned the penis.
  9. Too many events have terrible DJs. Maybe they are not terrible; maybe they have just been beaten down through so many weddings and corporate events that they are incapable of playing interesting music.
  10. I like weddings that make a donation for every guest at the wedding, and eschew the little chocolates at people’s seats. Or birthdays that encourage donations instead of gifts. It’s nice to give back amid all the pomp and circumstance.


Filed under tenthingsivelearned, Uncategorized

2 responses to “Ten things I’ve learned from event planning

  1. MM

    It’s not just straight men who suck at #8. I suck tremendously at those things and I don’t have a penis, unless I use somebody else’s.

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