Ten things I’ve learned from getting lost

  1. Part of the fun of riding a bicycle is getting lost and learning about a new neighbourhood.
  2. I rely more than I should on the mnemonic phrase “Never Eat Shredded Wheat.” Second Best: “Never Eat Soggy Worms.”
  3. I ask for directions, and I am a man. Impossible?
  4. I have learned to distrust my instincts. If I feel like I should turn left, I should really go right.
  5. I used to play AD&D, and I have this memory of being a young kid, and walking through this maze, being led by my friend Chris (acting as Dungeon Master). I kept turning left, and he kept telling me that I was starting to feel dizzy, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t getting anywhere. Not much has changed.
  6. There are certain places I always get lost in, no matter how many times I go there. Kensington Market, for instance.
  7. I think people only use expressions like “beat it” or “get lost” in the movies. Usually, if somebody wants you to leave, they just sort of stop talking and laugh awkwardly, or they leave themselves. Also, people don’t use the insult “Poindexter” like they used to. “Beat it, Poindexter!”
  8. I always get lost in new cities and on vacation, but I think everybody probably does, right? I hate the act of pulling out a map, though, and just putting a bullseye on yourself as a stupid tourist. Even though I am.
  9. I have a tendency, when I’m driving in the States, to get lost in a lot of lower income, African-American neighbourhoods. And nothing bad has ever happened to me as a result.
  10. I got lost in Edmonton for the better part of the day and night once, after drinking all morning and passing out while participating in the “Cariwest” Festival. I didn’t have my phone, money, or any idea where I was. This is where ingenuity comes from.


Filed under tenthingsivelearned, Uncategorized

3 responses to “Ten things I’ve learned from getting lost

  1. megara

    hate pulling out maps too! but love spending a good half an our on it before going to new places (which doesn’t prevent me from getting lost anyway, but still)

  2. Phil

    “Naughty Elephants Squirt Water” is a good one too.

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