Ten things I’ve learned from shaving

  1. You want to shave in the same direction consistently, so your skin gets used to it.
  2. If you have sensitive skin like I do, it’s good to shave with the grain. It’s not always the closest shave, but it’s less irritating.
  3. I’m not good at shaving. I never get a complete shave. When I have in the past, it always results in irritated skin and breakouts. So, I just accept my shaving failure and move on.
  4. Straight razor shaving is great, but you have to be smart about maintaining your blade. If you aren’t careful, it can dull really easily. You also take the risk of bleeding all over the place if you aren’t smart.
  5. Sometimes life imitates art.
  6. Don’t shave your balls unless you know what you are doing. First of all, it looks like a hairless cat. Secondly, blades and balls are rarely a smart combination. Trimming with an electric trimmer (make sure the 1/8 or 1/4 inch attachment is on!!) is often a good idea.
  7. I remember watching an episode of “Tool Academy”, and this musclebound tool had just finished showering, and was putting shaving cream on his chest and shaving his chest. It was an image that stuck with me.
  8. I try to grow a beard once in a while. It eventually looks….sort of ok. But it’s never great. So then I shave off the beard, but leave a moustache for about 2 minutes, when I inevitably realize that it makes me look like a pedophile, at which point I shave it off.
  9. You have to make funny faces to shave properly. At least I do.
  10. I like how some villains in movies will shave with a knife blade, just using water. It’s like…”oh, he’s so evil! he doesn’t even moisturize!”

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