Ten things I’ve learned from public displays of affection

  1. I have a deep notion of social propriety that makes me very uncomfortable with being too publicly affectionate with someone. I know that many people do not share this notion.
  2. I sometimes wonder if PDA is a couple’s way of reassuring themselves that everything is fine. Like…if we kiss hard enough and publicly enough, everybody will acknowledge that we are in love!!
  3. Kissing isn’t always sexy to look at. The same with undressing. Softcore sexual thrillers have lied to us.
  4. I once saw a subway go by, and two people were having sex in one of the cars, on the single seat beside the driver box. What a gross place to do it in.
  5. When I am in the situation where, for the sake of the relationship, I have to smooch in public, I try to make eye contact with other people around me, and telepathically convey that I also get how weird it is.
  6. I envy people who can freely display how they feel to one another. I think maybe they grew up in a house where that was normal. I wonder what that feels like….
  7. Kissing is the best. I get it.
  8. PDA can be interesting to watch. Street drama and crying fights are far more interesting, though. “Oh oh…” you chuckle to yourself or your asshole friends, “looks like trouble in paradise!”
  9. Laying a public smooch on a dame can be perfectly appropriate. If you are standing on top of the empire state building…if you are leaving under the cover of darkness via propeller plane…if you just finished beating up zombies together…
  10. What happens when two Blackberries kiss publicly? PDA PDA?

4 Comments

Filed under tenthingsivelearned, Uncategorized

4 responses to “Ten things I’ve learned from public displays of affection

  1. bluebowtie

    I found myself smirking so hard while reading this :))

  2. You and I seem to have the exact opposite reaction to other people’s PDAs and a vaguely similar one to our own (in regards to how we grew up). I’m always glad to see PDAs. I like it when people are so oblivious to others because they’re in love, like that Bran Van 3000 video. One of us is being cynical while the other is being naive. Let’s find our happy centre oh Josh!

    • Also, I know practically no one else feels this way, but I like seeing other people engaged in PDAs when I’m feeling lonely, like after a breakup: at least someone has someone. Makes me smile. Although I haven’t felt that way in years, they’re still a-ok with me.

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