Ten things I’ve learned from washing dishes

  1. Wash the top and bottom of your plates. Not just the top. Cause there might be grease on the bottom. I know. You think because you don’t have food on the bottom, there’s no need to wash too carefully. Wrong.
  2. For the same reason as #1, wash the handles of your wooden spoons and cutlery.
  3. Dishwashers are less effective the longer you wait to start them, and the less you rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
  4. If you get used to using a dishwasher, you start to forget how to wash dishes. Like, when you empty the dishwasher, you look at the inevitably dirty glasses and think “oh…still kind of dirty. I guess I could just put it away…or put it back in the dishwasher? Yeah…I guess I should do that.” Why don’t we just hand wash them? Why is that no longer an option??
  5. Washing dishes by hand over a sink to funk music wearing only boxers is the closest I’ve come to enlightenment.
  6. Sometimes glasses just break in your hand.
  7. If you have a dish rack, make sure you know which end the water leaks out of. Otherwise it’s Flooded Counter City, population: your counter.
  8. Glasses, plates, bowls, cutlery, pots and pans, Tupperware, stuff you want to recycle.
  9. Hot water is good at getting your dishes nice and clean and your hands nice and red. Lobster hands. Is what you’ll be called. If you are in grade 5.
  10. When you are complaining about your dishwasher leaving a piece of dried sauce on your KSP Luminite dinner plate, just be glad that you don’t have to haul water from the local river for five miles so that you can boil it over an open fire to clean the planks of wood that you eat raw ant-covered trout off. Because that would probably be way worse.

1 Comment

Filed under tenthingsivelearned, Uncategorized

One response to “Ten things I’ve learned from washing dishes

  1. Rubber gloves are your new best friend! They minimize the bleeding when the glass breaks in your hand, too.

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