Ten things I’ve learned from cheese

  1. Cheese is delicious.
  2. Cheese is so delicious that I could never be vegan, specifically due to cheese. Also…burgers.
  3. The moon is made of cheese. Wallace and Gromit proved it by going to the moon in a home-made rocket. Lunar cheese does not taste like any other cheese.
  4. Do not cut the pointy bit off the brie. It’s the best part, so it’s considered a social faux pas if you cut it off for yourself.
  5. Some stores claim to be cheese shops. Don’t be fooled.
  6. I’m a big fan of cheese curds. One of the highlights of cottage trips for me was getting, and wolfing down, bags of squeeky cheese. It helped to numb the pain of childhood/adolescence/adulthood.
  7. If you had ‘old milk’ or ‘old carrots’ or ‘old meat’ in a grocery store, nobody would be interested. When you sell ‘old cheddar’, you can jack up the price. The older it gets, the more you pay.
  8. Cheese is good for your teeth.
  9. Cheese is older than recorded history. People were like…cheese. Then years later, they were like…books?
  10. “Our muse it doth refuse to sing
    Of cheese made early in the spring
    When cows give milk from spring fodder
    You cannot make a good cheddar” – RIP James McIntyre.

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